I dropped my banana...

Let me start out by saying, on my bike ride down the street to the gym, I enjoy a banana as well as the balancing act of staying on the bike with my duffle (gym) bag and make sure I don't hit anything as I make it down a dimly lit street. Well today, you guessed it... I dropped my banana, and of course I was already running late.  You may think this is no big deal, and it wasn't until I got in from my run. *not feeling well* Since I started working out I've always ate 1/2 a banana in the morning before hand so I had something in my stomach, well today I was missing my something, because it was three blocks back being pecked away by birds. Moral of the story, eat something before you work out; as for me... keep something extra in my bag.  Today, I found a piece of gum.

Lets do this: 

That's exactly how I feel. I had a good conversation with Raquel today during our run.  We discussed what changes I've gone through lately and how to get back on track.  As I spilled my work out heart and soul, I realized it all made sense... (for those of you who I've talked to, I'm sure you already know what's coming) but, when I work out I feel good about myself, I feel like I want to eat right, and I want to continue, but when I feel bad I make excuses, I allow myself to make silly mistakes and don't hold myself accountable.  Well folks, I'm feeling good! As I was running past the Casa Marina and weaving through the small neighborhoods of Key West, I realized something...I was still running with Raquel. I told her, you may be running slower, but I'm for now I'm going to tell myself that you're not and I've actually kept up with you the whole time.  She laughed and said, this is my pace, maybe slightly faster, but for the most part, this is my pace... WHAT! Could you say that again?? 

I...me...Kristin Kammermeier is going to finish this morning run along side of you rather than blocks behind you? Hold the phone, people... this has not happened in months, like since our first run! 

So, we carried on.  She asked me how I felt about a half marathon...dun dun dun. How do I feel, scared, 13 point what, "too heavy and slow to run that far", intimidated, anxious, wait...maybe excited, a sense of accomplishment, over the moon and back for everyone who does them, and someday myself... does that answer your question? Raquel, I'd love to do it, I would LOVE to do it, and I've talked to Monica and Danielle about them a million times...BUT, I don't think I can. I don't want to fail, and failing to me is not finishing...it's not racing everyone else, or even walking, it's not finishing, and not finishing for a silly reason like not training or preparing myself, I'm not going to set myself up for failure.  

Her matter-a-fact answer; what are you worried about, in late February we left Stay Fit for your first run and by April 14th you had a 5K under your belt.  You can do it, the question is do you want to? 

Yes, yes, yes, of course I want to... still not totally convinced. I want to set goals, but I want them to be attainable. I said to myself, Kristin, is this something you can physically and mentally do? 

Raquel also said, you can't beat yourself up over the fact that you took a break... at least you caught yourself now and not a year from now, and even then, if you would have caught yourself in a year, at least your caught yourself.  

Those who know me best, and especially those who have been on this work out journey with me at some point know that I enjoy not only getting physically healthy, but socially as well, surrounding myself with positive, supportive people.  Raquel said to me today, you enjoy working out with other people, being able to talk about it throughout the day... yes, I do. 

If I'm going to make the life change, it's not only from 5:00am-7:00am... it's 24/7, and knocking down goals along the way.  January 20, 2013, ready or not.  

Running is a pain in the ass...but it'll give you a nice one ;) 

Today: I ran and did pedal and pump, what are you plans to stay active? 

Locked out

After some delish wedding food last night, and I mean d.e.l.i.s.h.! Bacon wrapped dates, margarita pizza, teriyaki ribs, fresh shrimp, tuna ceviche...awe. Anyway, needless to say, the alarm rang at 645am.

Eric went into work for a few hours and I had two choices...

Get up and go to pedal and pump at 800
OR
Stay in bed with the softest, most cuddly, goldendoodle (yes, when Eric leaves Benny jumps onto the bed)

So, as anyone would, I chose to...

Get up and pedal my butt down to the gym. Let me backtrack a little and tell you that due to a little fender bender my keys have not stayed on my key chain and have been strewn about my purse because I've had rental keys, found the spare to our old Yukon and lent some keys to a co-worker for Friday...needless to say, you guessed it.

When I got home at 900am I was locked out.

So naturally, I followed my Nurturing Parenting Curriculum, and ignored the behavior, but not the child- in this case a dog who was whimpering.

I watched from a far to make sure he wouldn't destroy the living room trying to get back at me. For all you wondering, he was a perfect little gent.

So again I was left with two choices:

Continue to watch Benny look for someone to play with
OR
Take a 25 minute run

Again, I chose to run.

Now, here I am...waiting for my knight in shining armor to rescue me.

Beep....just heard the car lock, he's here and my work out for the day is complete.

Start your weekend right, people!!

Running is a pain in the ass...but it'll give you a nice one ;)

If you're tired of starting over...

Where to begin, honestly... 

It's true, at the moment I'm lacking motivation - and even as I type this, I'm thinking about retracting that statement and saying, at the moment I am gaining motivation.

What is it that drives you? 

I've been challenged with discovering what is driving me now.  I haven't necessarly made up excuses, quit going to the gym or changed my eating habits.  But, I'm still finding myself not happy with where I am in the 'fit' world and, yes.... unmotivated.  

So, after a long conversation earlier today with a co-worker, followed by a check in with my bestie and follow up with my husband, I've decided what motivates me, and it's simply the knowledge that I'm getting results.  When I say results, they are not only the scale moving, or fitting into an old pair of jeans, but results in the context of being more energized, and feeling positive about changes, big or small.

Although I go to classes at the gym, and hit the pavement (probably not as often as I should) I'm still feeling as if I'm not putting in 100%.

10 Things I've Realized Since Working Out:  

1. I enjoy the bond and the social aspect of spending time and conversing with others who have the passion to be healthy.  

2. Motivation comes from within, and for me knowing that someone else is waiting on me for a work out appointment, holds me accountable, so accountability is huge. 

3. Monetary commitment. Gyms and trainers are expensive, bottom line. 

4. This is not easy, but it is worth it. 

5. Just because I have one off day/week/month does not mean it is over. 

6. When I do work out, I feel better throughout the day, physically and mentally. 

7. For me, the trainer works, for others, independence is key. 

8. My husband (this will take some explaining, see below) 

9. Build self confidence, and instill a positive self-worth as it relates to working out, if I don't feel good about myself how can I empower others to? 

10. I can do it.

So, let me explain number 8... 

Eric is, has been and always will be (hopefully!) a motivator and supporter to me.  He's my number one fan. (I know, how cliche) He's willing to meet me where I am, every single day and ride this wild roller coaster - I'm excited about working out one day and hitting the snooze the next.  He encourages me to get to the gym but at the same time knows his limits and isn't telling me that "I have to go, or I should go to lose weight" he's on board with getting healthy. He's expressed that for him, I'm perfect, but respects and honors my desire to want to get healthy - Something tells me he'd still love me a few pounds lighter, too ;)  I think it's so very important to have a partner who understands your goals and your dreams throughout life (and vice versa) in order to be a positive, effective support.

Above all, it's not the fancy equipment, new work out clothes, the race numbers, stay fit member of the month, or any rewards I've promised myself, but rather the internal feeling I get after working out, after achieving an accomplishment - if I need/desire someone else, be that a trainer or a work out buddy that's fine... there are many roads to get to the end... as long as I get there. 

Running is a pain in the ass...but it'll give you a nice one ;) 

Are you serious?

As I was at Ross, bee-lining for work out clothes there were also several other women with the same thought. However, it was quite obvious that we were there for different reasons.

Me: I was there to get a deal on my número uno pair of work out shorts. (nike, I'm in love with your work out apparel) anyway, as I was looking through the racks scoring shorts for $12.99 when they're regularly $30.00 I over heard this on the other side of the rack...

Them: Kelly, look at this... XXL work out clothes! I didn't even know they made them this big, well I guess someone that size needs to work out anyway! Good thing we're skinny, we're in shape and don't have to work out...

As I gathered my composure, after being completely horrified that,

a. they said that out loud and in public
and
b. they were so ignorant to think that because they're thinner than an XXL they're in shape

I would HOPE that people would have the common sense, wait, I mean the social skills to either keep their mouth shut or say something actually legitimate that has validity behind it.

Being thin does not give you the fast track ticket to being in shape. Sure you may wear a size 4 but you probably can't run farther than I can throw you and I'm certain that you wouldn't last in strength class. Of course there millions of people who are in shape and look great in a 4 - I know I'll never be there, not going to happen, no way no how. But, I have confidence in getting where I'd like to be and that's healthy.

Moral of this ranting blog entry is that being healthy isn't just shedding pounds, running miles upon miles and spinning my life away but also having a healthy mind, and finding the good and encouragement in others doing the same. Had someone been looking at those shorts when they were talking they probably would have left, I know I would have. It'd be nice to not be judged for trying to make a change and hey, you have to start somewhere!

Getting healthy comes with enough challenges; I, nor anyone else do not need any extra nonsense.

Be respectful for Pete's sake-- we're running laps around the people on the couch!

Remember, running is a pain in the ass...but it'll give you a nice one! And go get yourself a new work out outfit, I said its okay ;)

Cravings!

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!!

Don't ask me why, but I've been c-r-a-v-i-n-g ice cream lately...and I mean craving it! My level headed husband, kindly reminded me the other night that we don't need to get ice cream after dinner every night and that it is a "special thing".

Okay, okay...I understand tangible rewards, after all I just discussed this with the parents in my group tonight.

Q: BUT, why can't we have ice cream every night???
A: 1) We CAN have ice cream whenever we want, we live in a day where we CAN make those decisions.
2) Although I still have goals to meet, I've worked too hard to indulge in ice cream every day.
3) I love Mattheessens (if you live in KW I hope you know how to get there) and well, for good ice cream there is a 'good' price.
4) My fourth and final answer...because I don't NEED it. Comon' Kristin, you teach basic needs and how to decipher between needs and wants and ice cream is not a need.

So after I've weighed all my answers I settled for unsweetened apple sauce with added cinnamon and splenda. And I have to admit...

IT IS WONDERFUL, not to mention curbed that crazy craving for ice cream. So, if you're in a bind...and your husband makes a suggestion (did I mention it was his suggestion...probably not, so yes, props to my husband for problem solving when I was in my... I'll call it "crazy" state) take the suggestion and try it. Not only did I get something sweet but I feel a little better about my choice as I think about 6:15am spin tomorrow at Stay Fit Studio . However, this weeks cheat meal will probably consist of ice cream...really good ice cream. Maybe I'll walk to the restaurant...come out even on calories in and out :) I can hope.

Remember, running is a pain in the ass...but it'll give you a nice one ;)

what i actually look like

Seriously, this is how I felt today... and seriously, this may be how I looked...either way, I was out running.  I ended my 'manic' Monday (just kidding, but I was trying to think of something catchy) - actually today was quite pleasant.  As I was saying, I ended today with an AHHHHH-MAZE-ING deep tissue massage, complements of Fit Member of the Month at Stay Fit Studio! The massages I've had in the past have been wonderful as well, quite music, low lighting, comfortable massage table, heck even a very calming smell... but today; today was much more.  I carried on a conversation about a passion of mine, parenting...and families, and most of all, getting healthy and finding the strength to become energized, even on the days that I feel all my energy is on my pillow.  I appreciate people who are well versed and knowledgable, I crave interaction with people and enjoy listening to everyone's stories. Socialite, beginning running socialite at your service...could that be a job? ;) 

As much as I've heard people (including myself) talk about not particularly enjoying this quaint quirky island...there are certainly pros.  Running to the White street pier is one of them (Danielle if you're reading, this is where you began my 5K journey with me) After dinner, which consisted of the most delightful black bean and veggie burger my husband took over dishes duty and I hit the pavement for some quality me time.  I know, some say to lay low after a massage but...I hadn't worked out this am so tonight was my night.  I headed out of my house up and over the infamous hill (that's what I call it, actually it's just a bridge over a marina) down Truman, right on White street to the pier, stopped at a friends on the way back and headed home just as the sun was setting.  If you have a chance, White street pier during sunrise or sunset... check off the good ol' bucket list.  Not only was the view a pro, but I saw several people I knew... a few from the gym, someone from work (okay so I made a pit stop at her house) and another family driving from a previous job. Hey, at least they know I'm really running now....only kidding, but really seeing people I know, or even if someone says, "hello" to me while I'm out always seems to help me kick it up another notch.  That probably means that I should be running at that 'notch' all the time, some day. 

Anyway, as I'm getting ready to settle in and indulge in a guilty pleasure of mine... (no not finishing all the chocolate chip cookies, made with wheat flour, splenda, and egg whites) watching the bachelorette, let me leave you with this little quote... 

Remember, running is a pain in the ass...but it'll give you a nice one ;) 

(by the way, as I was leaving after my massage, somehow my phone began to play Kanye, Stronger... yes, you know it and you're now humming it in your head..."that, that, that, that don't kill you can only make you stronger I need you to hurry up now, cause' I can't wait much longer..." anyway, I could not figure out how to get it to turn off... I knew tonight would be a successful work out) 

1000+ calories, gone.

Began my Sunday just the way I like...
9:00am strength and 10:00am spin!

Amazing.

I came home to find my husband still sleeping away so I decided that today would be my cheat meal. (dont worry he ate too)

Guess what I had...

Egg skillet, and I loved it! POTATOES, peppers, onions and eggs. Not to mention I made chocolate chip cooked over the weekend so I ended breakfast with a cookie. Successful cheat meal.

I forgot to start my garmin during strength, and I'm about 150 calories short but here's a snap shot of my morning work out.

Yo yo...

Ever heard of a yo yo dieter? Well, I'm happy to admit, once again that I'm not on a diet but rather a long, what at times seems to be a narrow and windy road to a complete lifestyle change. But I will admit that I am a yo yo 'worker outer'.

Explanation: I read things, hear things, see things and try it. It sounds all good and wonderful but in actuality it sucks. I began my journey with a trainer and a gym membership, then went to working out without a trainer (supplemental of course) in a different gym (on base) soon to find myself looking for my own running routine (which lasted maybe two weeks) and now I'm second guessing my decisions. It's not that I need anyone else's approval, but I'll say I am new to this idea of working out. Even though if you remember I swore up and down that I was active in the past - I like to ask people what their experiences were and where they've had successes and challenges. What I get is a conglomerate of answers and then I try to fit them into my life.

End result : chaos and a plateau.

So, I'm back to square one...minus 25-30 lbs ;)

Doing this for me and my health, no one else's. It doesn't matter if I cross the finish line at a 17 minute/mile or a 8 minute/mile - what matters is that I finished and I am healthy, or getting there. Running is controversial, and "everyone has opinions, just like butt holes" (a wise co-worker shared that saying with me today!) so no matter if the person next to me is running with all the latest and greatest running equipment or simply running in an old pair of worn out sneakers we should all be out there for ourselves.

Remember, running is a pain in the ass...but it'll give you a nice one ;)